Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
