I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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