Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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