he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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