i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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