I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
