This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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