did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
