I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
