I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
