she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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