Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
