no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
