Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
vagina is talking i cant
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
