At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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