thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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