i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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