I must be too annoying 4 u.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
