I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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