South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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