Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
too bad you live with your parents still
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize