he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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