I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
even my farts smell like vagina
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize