It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
