all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
