how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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