he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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