Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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