all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
