how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
