My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
