think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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