I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize