I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I'm really busy with my period
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