Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
