Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
