the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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