I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
