We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
