he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize