the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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