I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
