i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
did you just send me my own nude
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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