Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
