toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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