Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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