i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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