By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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