The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
