Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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