What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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