at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize