He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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