I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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