P.S. I can't hear my feet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
