Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
