I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
